5. 3. 2020

Isn’t it glorious to be told you’re loved?

True, not everyone means it when they say it. Or they say it so much that not ever time carries the weight. But some people never hear it. And I’m blessed to hear it often, and be able to say it, too.

The pandemic has been one of the best things in a year and a half. Perhaps more. So many have died from it, and that saddens me. But for me, personally, ironically, it has been wonderful.

When I left for the New Land as I’ve called it on this site, my family wasn’t in a good place. The week I moved there was good though, which made me especially sadder to be leaving.

I was so scared to even move into the apartment with the other girls. I almost cried myself to sleep even though I thought it would make too much noise. A lot of people don’t expect transitions to be hard for a post-college grad. But they forget that 21 and 22 isn’t so far away from 18. Especially when the past 4 years were mostly one routine still at home.

There is something heartwarming, too, that the whole world is sharing suffering at once.

And despite my first restless, “can’t pin me down” energy during spring break when I was quarantined, I really do like being stuck at home.

Again, things are better than they were–all praise to Jesus. Can’t take a day for granted. The sun is out and shining. I’ve been doing school, so much writing, so much hanging with my brother, so much reading and sleeping. The Bible reading has gotten hard, and yet reading about Him has not. I drink of His word at a slow and steady pace, but still drink it.

Do you ever dream of something strongest and realist when it’s about to leave? My strongest dreams cue transitions. I dreamed so much about someone the other night that this person was almost there. Cue not hearing from that person.

The same kind of dream of loss before leaving. I remember telling my brother before my dad’s surgeries, a few months before we knew: “Something bad is going to happen.” It did.

I felt the same way at the beginning of a friendship not so long ago. More like, “This is gonna be hard work, but it’s too late now, and my heart’s gonna break.” twas right.

But now, hallelujah, perhaps the Lord has dunked me in cool water after melting us through refining fires. Perhaps this is the time of rest and happiness before the storms come again.

Today consisted of getting topsoil out of the garden truck. Writing. Eating meat (ew!), calling a friend, texting another friend, falling asleep, and hopefully going to bed early.

Thank you Lord for rest.